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LETTER 134(第1页)

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LETTER134

MARYLAMBTODOROTHYWORDSWORTH

[P.M.May7,1805.]

MydearMissWordsworth—Ithankyou,mykindfriend,foryourmostfortableletter.TillIsawyourownhandwriting,IcouldnotpersuademyselfthatIshoulddowelltowritetoyou,thoughIhaveoftenattemptedit,butIalwaysleftoffdissatisfiedwithwhatIhadwritten,andfeelingthatIwasdoinganimproperthingtointrudeuponyoursorrow.Iwishedtotellyou,thatyouwouldonedayfeelthekindofpeacefulstateofmind,andsweetmemoryofthedeadwhichyousohappilydescribeasnowalmostbegun,butIfeltthatitwasimproper,andmostgratingtothefeelingsoftheafflicted,tosaytothemthatthememoryoftheirafflictionwouldintimebeeaconstantpartnotonlyoftheir"dream,butoftheirmostwakefulsenseofhappiness."Thatyouwouldseeeveryobjectwith,andthroughyourlostbrother,andthatthatwouldatlastbeearealandeverlastingsourceofforttoyou,Ifelt,andwellknewfrommyownexperienceinsorrow,buttillyouyourselfbegantofeelthisIdidnotdaretellyouso,butIsendyousomepoorlineswhichIwroteunderthisconvictionofmind,andbeforeIheardColeridgewasreturninghome.IwilltranscribethemnowbeforeIfinishmyletter,lestafalseshamepreventmethen,forIknowtheyaremuchworsethantheyoughttobe,writtenastheywerewithstrongfeelingandonsuchasubject.Everylineseemstometobeborrowed,butIhadnobetterwayofexpressingmythoughts,andIneverhavethepowerofalteringoramendinganythingIhaveoncelaidasidewithdissatisfaction.

Whyishewanderingonthesea?

ColeridgeshouldnowwithWordsworthbe.

Byslowdegreeshedstealaway

Theirwoe,andgentlybringaray

(Sohappilyhedtimerelief)

Offortfromtheirverygrief.

Hedtellthemthattheirbrotherdead

Whenyearshavepassedoertheirhead,

Willberememberdwithsuchholy,

True,andperfectmelancholy

ThateverthislostbrotherJohn

Willbetheirheartspanion.

Hisvoicetheyllalwayshear,hisfacetheyllalwayssee,

Theresnoughtinlifesosweetassuchamemory.

Mr.andMrs.Clarksoncametoseeuslastweek,Ifinditwasatyourrequesttheysoughtusout;youcannotthinkhowgladweweretoseethem,solittleaswehaveeverseenofthem,yettheyseemtouslikeveryoldfriends.PoorMrs.Clarksonlooksveryillindeed,shewalkednearamile,andcameupourhighstairs,whichfatiguedherverymuch,butwhenshehadsatawhileherownnaturalcountenancewithwhichshechearedusinyourlittlecottageseemedtoreturntoher,andthenIbegantohavehopesshewouldgetthebetterofherplaint.CharlesdoesnotthinksheissomuchalteredasIdo.Iwishhemaybethebetterjudge.Wetalkedofnothingbutyou.ShemeanstotrytogetleaveofDr.Beddoestoeandseeyou—herheartiswithyou,andIdonotthinkitwouldhurthersomuchtoetoyou,asitwoulddistressyoutoseehersoill.

Shereadmeapartofyourletterwhereinyousokindlyexpressyourwishesthatwewouldeandseeyouthissummer.Iwishwecould,forIamsureitwouldbeablessedthingforyouandforustobeafewweekstogether—Ifearitmustnotbe.Mrs.Clarksonistobeintownagaininafortnightandthentheyhavepromisedweshallseemoreofthe

IamverysorryforthepoorlittleDorothysillness—Ihopesoontohearsheisperfectlyrecovered.Remembermewithaffectiontoyourbrother,andyourgoodsister.Whataprovidenceitisthatyourbrotherandyouhavethiskindfriend,andthesedearlittleones—Irejoicewithherandwithyouthatyourbrotherisemployeduponhispoemagain.

PrayrememberustoOldMolly.Mrs.Clarksonsaysherhouseisapatternofneatnesstoallherneighbours—suchgoodwaysshelearntof"Mistress."HowwellIremembertheshiningornamentsofherkitchen,andheroldfriendlyface,not[the]leastornamentalpartofit.

ExcusethehasteIwritein.Iamunexpectedlytogoouttodinner,elseIthinkIhavemuchmoretosay,butIwillnotputitofftillnextpost,becauseyousokindlysayImustnotwriteifIfeelunwilling—youdonotknowwhatverygreatjoyIhaveinbeingagainwritingtoyou.ThankyouforsendingtheletterofMr.Evans,itwasaverykindone.HaveyoureceivedonefromaCornetBurgoine?Mybrotherwrotetohimanddesireshewoulddirecthisanswertoyourbrother.

Godblessyouandyoursmydearfriend.

Iamyoursaffectionately

M.LAMB.

[Dr.Beddoes,whowasattendingMrs.Clarkson,wouldbe,Isuppose,

ThomasBeddoesofClifton(1760-1808),thefatherofThomasLovell

BeddoesandafriendofColeridgeandSouthey.

InaletterfromDorothyWordsworthtoMrs.Clarkson,datedApril19,1805(recentlyprintedbyMr.HaleWhiteintheAthenaeum),weread:—

IhavegreatpleasureinthinkingthatyoumayseeMissLamb;donotmissitifyoucanpossiblygowithoutinjurytoyourself—theyarethebestgoodcreatures—blessingsbewiththem!theyhavesympathisedinoursorrowastenderlyasiftheyhadgrownupinthesame[town?]withusandknownourbelovedJohnfromhischildhood.Charleshaswrittentousthemostconsolatoryletters,theresultofdiligentandpainfulinquiryofthesurvivorsofthewreck,—forthiswemustlovehimaslongaswehavebreath.Ithinkofhimandhissistereverydayofmylife,andmanytimesinthedaywiththankfulnessandblessings.TalktodearMissLambaboutingintothiscountryandletushearwhatshesaysofit.IcannotexpresshowmuchweallwishtoseeherandherbrotherwhileweareatGrasmere.WelookforwardtoColeridgesreturnwithfearandpainfulhope—butindeedIdarenotlooktoit—IthinkaslittleasIcanofhi]

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