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LETTER 80（第1页）

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LETTER80

CHARLESLAMBTOTHOMASMANNING

December27th，1800.

AtlengthGeorgeDyersphrenesishasetoacrisis;heisragingandfuriouslymad.Iwaitedupontheheathen，Thursdaywasasennight;thefirstsymptomwhichstruckmyeyeandgavemeincontrovertibleproofofthefataltruthwasapairofnankeenpantaloonsfourtimestoobigforhim，whichthesaidHeathendidpertinaciouslyaffirmtobenew.

Theywereabsolutelyingrainedwiththeaccumulateddirtofages;butheaffirmedthemtobeclean.Hewasgoingtovisitaladythatwasniceaboutthosethings，andthatsthereasonheworenankeenthatday.Andthenhedanced，andcapered，andfidgeted，andpulleduphispantaloons，andhuggedhisintolerableflannelvestmentcloserabouthispoeticloins;anonhegaveitloosetothezephyrswhichplentifullyinsinuatetheirtinybodiesthrougheverycrevice，door，windoworwainscot，expresslyformedfortheexclusionofsuchimpertinents.Thenhecaughtataproofsheet，andcatchedupalaundresssbillinstead—madeadartatBlomfieldsPoems，andthrewtheminagonyaside.Icouldnotbringhimtoonedirectreply;hecouldnotmaintainhisjumpingmindinarightlineforthetitheofamomentbyCliffordsInnclock.Hemustgototheprintersimmediately—themostunluckyaccident—hehadstruckofffivehundredimpressionsofhisPoems，whichwerereadyfordeliverytosubscribers，andthePrefacemustallbeexpunged.TherewereeightypagesofPreface，andnottillthatmorninghadhediscoveredthatintheveryfirstpageofsaidPrefacehehadsetoutwithaprincipleofCriticismfundamentally-wrong，whichvitiatedallhisfollowingreasoning.ThePrefacemustbeexpunged，althoughitcosthim￡30—thelowestcalculation，takinginpaperandprinting!InvainhavehisrealfriendsremonstratedagainstthisMidsummermadness.GeorgeisasobstinateasaPrimitiveChristian—andwardsandparriesoffallourthrustswithoneunanswerablefence;—"Sir，itsofgreatconsequencethattheworldisnotmisled!"

AsfortheotherProfessor，hehasactuallybeguntodiveintoTavernierandChardinsPersianTravelsforastory，toformanewdramaforthesweettoothofthisfastidiousage.HathnotBethlehemCollegeafairactionfornon-residenceagainstsuchprofessors?Arepoetssofewinthisage，thathemustwritepoetry?Ismoralsasubjectsoexhausted，thathemustquitthatline?Isthemetaphysicwell（withoutabottom）draineddry?

IfIcanguessatthewickedprideoftheProfessorsheart，IwouldtakeashrewdwagerthathedisdainseveragaintodiphispeninProse.Adieu，yesplendidtheories!Farewell，dreamsofpoliticaljustice!Lawsuits，whereIwascounselforArchbishopFenelonversusmyownmother，inthefamousfirecause!

Vanishfrommymind，professors，oneandall!Ihavemetalmoreattractiveonfoot.

Manofmanysnipes，Iwillsupwiththee，Deovolenteetdiabolonolente，onMondaynightthe5thofJanuary，inthenewyear，andcrushacuptotheinfantcentury.

Awordortwoofmyprogress.Embarkatsixoclockinthemorning，withafreshgale，onaCambridgeone-decker;verycoldtilleightatnight;landatSt.Maryslight-house，muffinsandcoffeeupontable（oranyothercuriousproductionofTurkeyorbothIndies），snipesexactlyatnine，punchtomenceatten，withargument;differenceofopinionisexpectedtotakeplaceabouteleven;perfectunanimity，withsomehazinessanddimness，beforetwelve.—N.B.Mysingleaffectionisnotsosinglyweddedtosnipes;butthecuriousandepicureaneyewouldalsotakeapleasureinbeholdingadelicateandwell-chosenassortmentofteals，ortolans，theunctuousandpalate-soothingfleshofgeesewildandtame，nightingalesbrains，thesensoriumofayoungsucking-pig，oranyotherChristmasdish，whichIleavetothejudgmentofyouandthecookofGonville.C.LAMB.

[LambscopyofGeorgeDyersPoemsisintheBritishMuseuIthastheoriginalwithdrawn1800title-pageandthecancelledprefaceboundupwithit，andLambhaswrittenagainstthereferencetothesacrifice，inthenew1801preface:"Onecopyofthiscancelledpreface，snatchdoutofthefire，isprefacedtothisvolume."SeeLetter93，page234.Itrunstosixty-fivepages，whereasthenewoneisbutafewwords.SoutheytellsGrosvenorBedfordinoneofhislettersthatLambgaveDyerthetitleofCancellariusMagnus.Dyerreprintedinthe1802editionofhisPoemsthegreaterpartofthecancelledprefaceandallofthefirstpage—sothatitisdifficulttosaywhatthefallacywas.TheoriginaleditionofhisPoems，wastobeinthreelargevolumes.In1802ithadedowntotwosmallones.

GodwinsPersiandramawas"Abbas，KingofPersia，"buthecouldnotgetitacted.ThereferencetoFénélonistoGodwinsPoliticalJustice（firstedition，Vol.I.，page84）wherehearguesontheparativeworthofthepersonsofFénélon，achambermaid，andGodwinsmother，supposingthemtohavebeenpresentatthefamousfireatCambraiandonlyoneofthemtobesaved.（AsamatteroffactFénélonwasnotatthefire.）

WemustsupposethatLambcarriedouthisintentionofvisitingManningonJanuary5;butthereisnoconfirmation.]

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