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LETTER 306（第1页）

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LETTER306

CHARLESLAMBTOMR.ANDMRS.J.D.COLLIER

TwelfthDay[January6]，1823.

THEpigwasabovemyfeeblepraise.Itwasadearpigmy.Therewassomecontentionastowhoshouldhavetheears，butinspiteofhisobstinacy（deafastheselittlecreaturesaretoadvice）Icontrivedtogetatoneofthe

Itcameinbootstoo，whichItookasafavor.Generallythosepettytoes，prettytoes!aremissing.ButIsupposeheworethem，tolooktaller.

Hemusthavebeentheleastofhisrace.Hislittlefootswouldhavegoneintothesilverslipper.ItakehimtohavebeenChinese，andafemale.—

IfEvelyncouldhaveseenhim，hewouldneverhavefarrowedtwosuchprodigiousvolumes，seeinghowmuchgoodcanbecontainedin—howsmallapass!

Hecrackleddelicately.

JohnCollierJunhassentmeaPoemwhich（withoutthesmallestbiasfromtheaforesaidpresent，believeme）Ipronouncesterling.

IsetaboutEvelyn，andfinishedthefirstvolumeinthecourseofanaturalday.To-dayIattackthesecond—Partsareveryinteresting.—

Ileftablankattopofmyletter，notbeingdeterminedwhichtoaddressitto，soFarmerandFarmerswifewillpleasetodivideourthanks.Mayyourgranariesbefull，andyourratsempty，andyourchickensplump，andyourenviousneighborslean，andyourlabourersbusy，andyouasidleandashappyasthedayislong!

VIVELAGRICULTURE!

FrankFieldsmarriageofcourseyouhaveseeninthepapers，andthathisbrotherBarronisexpectedhome.

Howdoyoumakeyourpigssolittle?

Theyarevastlyengagingatthatage.

Iwassomyself.

NowIamadisagreeableoldhog—

Amiddle-aged-gentleman-and-a-half.

Myfaculties，thankGod，arenotmuchimpaired.Ihavemysight，hearing，taste，prettyperfect;andcanreadtheLordsPrayerinthemontype，bythehelpofacandle，withoutmakingmanymistakes.

Believeme，whilemyfacultieslast，aproperappreciatorofyourmanykindnessesinthisway;andthatthelastlingeringrelishofpastflavorsuponmydyingmemorywillbethesmackofthatlittleEar.Itwastheleftear，whichislucky.Manyhappyreturns（notofthePig）butoftheNewYeartoboth.—

MaryforhershareofthePigandthememoirsdesirestosendthesame—

Dr.Mr.C.andMrs.C.—

Yourstruly

C.LAMB.

[ThisletterisusuallysupposedtohavebeenaddressedbyLambtoMr.andMrs.BrutonofMackeryEnd.Theaddressis，however，Mrs.Collier，SmallfieldPlace，EastGrinstead，Sussex.

"IfEvelyncouldhaveseenhi"JohnEvelynsDiaryhadrecentlybeenpublished，in1818and1819，intwolargequartovolumes.]

LETTER307

CHARLESLAMBTOCHARLESADERS

[Jan.8，1823.]

DearSir—WeshallhavegreatpleasureinsurprisingMrs.AdersonherBirthday—YouwillperceivehowcunninglyIhavecontrivedthedirectionofthisnote，toevadepostage.

Yourstruly

C.LAMB.

8Jan.23.

[ThisnoteissenttomebyMr.G.DunlopofKilmarnock.ItistheonlynotetoAders，afriendofCrabbRobinson，towhosehouseLamboftenwentfortalkandwhist.AdershadafinecollectionofGermanpictures.SeetheversestohiminVol.IV.ThecunningintheaddressconsistedapparentlyinobtainingthesignatureofanIndiaHousecolleaguetocertifythatitwas"official."]

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